Strength of Broken Glass
by Whoops-C
Summary: Bad dreams. Nightmares. Shiro's had them before, of past pains and losses. But what happens when the dreams start predicting futures? After losing the one he cared about most, Shiro has to go against all that he stands for, risk all the lives of the universe, for one little girl. {Character Death}[Shiro/Pidge is platonic]
1. Chapter 1

Shiro POV

 _Thump. Thump. Thump._

I could hear them, leaning against the resolute door, as their metal feet struck an unending pattern across the grates.

 _Thump. Thump. Thump._

"No." I whispered. I knew what they were coming for, somehow. After they dragged us off the ice of Kerberos, it had only been a matter of time before they decided to separate us. I cast a wild glance at Matt and his father, knowing that at any moment any chance of human contact was going to be ripped away, destroyed and trampled by the metal feet outside the door.

Matt stared back with fearful eyes, clutching at Dr. Holt's unmoving body. He was asleep, which we all knew, but in the terror of the moment, we couldn't bear to look away too long, or in that time his chest would stop moving.

 _Thump. Thump. Thump._

It was getting louder and louder now, and I grabbed at Matt's sleeve. We couldn't let ourselves be separated, not now, not ever. Not if we were to maintain our sanity and health. I looked up again at Matt.

"Matt?"

Something was off, it had to be. This wasn't Matt before me; too small, too slender, and too... familiar.

The Matt impostor is dressed in a green and white armor (somehow I knew it was an armor), and (I racked my head for the right word) somehow too feminine. She (I knew somehow that this was a girl) stared back with trusting eyes, and I felt confused. The figure of Dr. Holt was gone, and it was just me and a stranger, in an alien ship. Where was Matt? Why is this girl here?

The door behind us opened.

I jerked my head around, and flinched as purple droids marched in. I fling up my arms, terrified, as one of them jokingly raises its weapon at me. The movement cues a jerky, unnatural robotic laughter from the rest of them, and one of them reaches for me with and outstretched hand.

Irrational fear flooded over me, and I cowered like an animal. But the hand didn't take me; it reached for the girl instead.

"NO!"

She screams, as the unforgiving fist clenches around her wrist. She tries to jerk away, and I reach out to help her, but suddenly they are far away. My surroundings are replaced with an suffocating blackness, and she is carried off kicking and screaming, as the Galran soldiers drag her away.

"Shiro!" She's calling, and I'm trying to stand up, to run forward, to help, because suddenly I know her. But my legs are trapped in a poisonous purple mud, and I trip as she calls my name once more, voice full of fear and pain and begging and betrayal. And right before the sludge drags me under, I call back.

"PIDGE!"

* * *

 _Shiro._

My eyes twitch, and I groan. Someones calling, and I can't comprehend who.

"Shiro."

I blink my eyelids open, and I gaze blearily at the person beside my bed. As my eyes adjust, I see a tiny familiar person clutching a pillow standing beside my bed.

"Who are you?" I mumble, glancing around my room. Clean and spotless, with my exercise equipment tucked away in one corner. The lights are dimmed, so the ship must be on night mode. And judging by the darkness, it's late.

"It's me, Pidge." She's staring at me with wide, worried eyes. Her short hair, unruly as it is, is even messier now, with a cowlick on the right side. "I couldn't sleep, so I came to your room."

I chuckle sleepily. It was a common occurrence for members of the team to drop by my room occasionally, from bad dreams or sleeplessness or whatnot. Apparently I held a comforting vibe to most of them, and I know Lance and Keith have both called me "Dad" by accident at least once while they slept on my bed (I slept on the floor when this happened; I didn't mind, as my I was used to sleeping on hard surfaces from my imprisonment).

"Alright, sure." I say gently, and I sit up and ruffle her hair before standing up to let her onto my bed. She lies down and curls up as I tuck the blanket around her. I move away to fetch the extra blanket and pillow that were always nearby for such cases, but just as I was about to lie down, her tiny hand reaches out and catches my wrist.

"Shiro." She whispers my name again, and I stare at her eyes, of gold and amber and hazel. "Shiro, can you sleep with me?"

"What?" My neck starts heating up. "Uh, I, Pidge, I don't think-"

"Nothing like that." She says back. Her eyes stare back at me, big and innocent. "I just...I feel a lot better knowing you're close."

I shift uncomfortably. I'd been in tough situations, sure. I'd been tortured by Galrans, beaten to within an inch of my life, but that's all nothing compared to the sister of a crew mate (former crew mate?) asking me to cuddle.

"Er-um-sure." I said awkwardly, and she scooched over to the far side of the bunk so I get climb in. I lay down on the bed, and she tossed part of the blanket over me before pressing herself against my side.

In case you don't know, it's the strangest thing to lie in bed with the little sister of one of your friends curled up and pressed against your side, with a pillow between you two. It was a while before I could really relax, and I think I was holding my breath for a while. After a while, I heard the deep breaths of sleep, and I look over to the side at her.

The thing about Pidge was that she was unbelievable, so ridiculously adorable in a nerdy sort of way. She was cute in the way that a kitten or puppy is cute, and my heart got a little warmer seeing her snoozing peacefully. I smiled and stretched out my right arm, before placing my hand gently on her shoulder.

Now that I think about it, I think Pidge has some sort of therapeutic powers too, because before long I was asleep as well, and this time there were no bad dreams.


	2. Chapter 2

I woke up the next morning with a throbbing ache on my right shoulder as my alarm began to ring. I quickly turned it off and turned back to find the source of the pain came from Pidge using my shoulder as a pillow. Her back was against my right side, and she coddled my Galran arm like a teddy bear. The pillow she had brought was on the ground next to me.

I smiled at her unruly behavior, and attempted to ease myself out from under her arm so as not to disturb her. However, Pidge has an iron death grip, and she clutched my hand so tightly that my arm throbbed numbly. I tried untangling her fingers, but got nowhere. I ended up having to tickle her with the pillow she dropped until she loosened her grip, and the second I tugged my arm away her hands shot out and snatched the pillow out from my fingers.

 _Quiznak, Pidge. If my arm wasn't already gone, your squeezing would've taken it off_. I thought, massaging my elbow. But the sight of her hugging that pillow for dear life make me smile again despite myself.

I generally got up earlier then anyone else, so I didn't want to bother her rest. After showering quickly and changing into my battle armor, I began going through my exercise routine. One hundred sit-ups, one hundred push ups, one hundred arm curls. Lance once asked me why I worked out so much, and I had replied that I simply wanted to be stronger. Which was part of the truth, but it was also out of fear. Ever since I was captured by Galrans, I decided to be strong, so then I wouldn't lose to them ever again. So I wouldn't lose hold of anyone, ever again.

I was in the middle of my fifty-seventh push up when a loud yawn alerted me to Pidge's awakening. I froze and glanced over at the bed to see her sitting up, rubbing her eyes and squinting.

"Mornin' kiddo." I say, trying to be as casual as possible. I wasn't sure if she would remember the events of last night, and I didn't want that to be an obstacle between us if we were to be a team, though part of me wished that she did remember.

Her only reply was a muffled "Mhnngh." as she crawled out of bed and padded over to the door, still squinting and dragging that pillow behind her. I can't help but feel a twinge of disappointment as she stumbles away, which is completely irrational. She's tired and sleepy, so it's only natural that she doesn't want to talk, right? But still, that _sting_ of being ignored...

I watch her open the door and shuffle out slowly. She turned around to shut the door again, and as she did so, she mumbled "Thanks...Matt."

I barely notice the _swoosh_ of the door shutting or how my arms were burning from holding my weight up for the past minute. I was consumed, almost entirely, by the event that had just taken place.

 _She called me...Matt?_

A sense of amusement and pleasure swept through me, accompanied by a sense of sadness. It was only logical that Pidge would've slept with her brother during rough times; my little brother Ringo had done the same for me too. I was happy that she thought of me as something more then just a teammate or friend, but a strange displeasure settled in the pit of my stomach. I almost wanted to be _more_ then a brother.

 _Don't be greedy, Shiro. She was probably too sleepy to know what she was saying anyway, it's not like she meant it._

I grunted and continued my workout, barely noticing the burning in my shoulders.

* * *

During breakfast I kept a close eye on Pidge in particular.

It was an average morning for the rest of the crew; Hunk was trying to talk to Pidge about to anyone who would listen, Keith and Lance were fighting (again, over stars know what) and Pidge had her laptop out as usual, taking bites in between sessions of keyboard mashing.

All in all, a perfectly normal start to the day. And everything was the same as if what had happened last night never occurred. A small sigh escapes me and I put down my spoon.

 _I shouldn't ponder over this. It's such a little thing, and it's taking over my head. I can't be a leader like this!_

Consumed by thoughts of confusion, anger, and bitterness, I hardly notice the the voice talking to me until it shouted in my ear.

"HELLO, SHIRO!" Coran yelled, bristly mustache tickling my face, what with him standing right next to me. I jumped and fell out of my chair.

"Smooth." I heard Lance snicker, which was replied with by a elbow nudge from Pidge.

"What is it, Coran?" I asked, annoyed and embarrassed. My ear was ringing, and my left arm stung from breaking my fall.

"For a Paladin, you are as deaf as a Womportle in a volcanic hibernation. Allura wants all the Paladins on the bridge; we're gonna make our next move against Zarkon."

These words shock me; we had never attempted to launch a direct attack at Zarkon or his empire, and the most we did was freeing planets. I look over at the rest of the team, and they all bear similarly surprised looks.

This doesn't go unnoticed by Coran. He gives a sort of amused snort at our faces, and says "Don't just stand there, hup-hup! The princess is waiting!"

* * *

In a few minutes, we find ourselves on the bridge, having been hustled and shepherded there by Coran.

"Ah, Paladins. You're here." Allura said brightly, already in battle armor. She turned around from a large, three-dimensional, holographic model of a Zarkon fleet. "Me and Coran have been up for hours, and I think we have an idea for our next tactical advancement against the Galra."

"You know, you can just say 'our next move'" Pidge muttered, which prompted a snicker from Hunk and Lance. Allura noticed and glared pointedly.

"No time for your insulting remarks, small one. Especially now, as this fleet could hold your brother and-"

She was cut off suddenly by Pidge, who had leapt forward and was hanging off Allura's neck.

"What!? How did you know!? Why didn't you say so!?" Pidge spat, as she was wrestled away by an alarmed Coran. The Princess looked downright stunned at the sudden outburst, as was all of us. Small, sweet, Pidge had never done anything like this to anyone.

"I-I don't know." admitted a worried Allura, to a very murderous Paladin. "But the information from your last Galra hack has lead us to this ship. It's a holding ship, meant for carrying the prisoners they don't know what to do with."

"How come you got that information before I did? You're no hacker." Pidge snarled back. My chest stung slightly; seeing her act so cold and harsh wasn't right. This isn't Pidge.

"Because I helped her." I had to step in, and Pidge's look of fury melted away into surprise. "After you showed the translated plans to Allura, she asked my to decipher certain phrases because of my time there. I recognized some of the references and here we are." I paused, hesitating, before I continued on. "Pidge, you're a valuable member of this team. But the team includes Allura and Coran, and we wouldn't be complete without them. It is unacceptable that you act in this way toward your friend and comrade, so apologize."

Guilt pokes at me as I see her bow her head in shame, ears going red as cherries. "M'sorry." She mumbles. "I shouldn't have yelled."

"It's all right. I would've acted the same way, if I knew there was a chance that my father was still alive." Allura says gently, a somber smile on her face. But the smile is wiped away quickly by a serious scowl. "Paladins, go put on your armor. Then meet me here; we're going to strike a blow to the Galrans that they won't recover from."


	3. Chapter 3

**I am really sorry for not updating this, but the S2 trailer came out and then came Klance Week and I just-I'm sorry for not updating and for updating. Pidge and Shiro's ages were released by the producers as 14 and 25, and I wasn't sure how to continue this afterward. But anyway, here is what I made and please leave a review on whether or not this ship should be platonic or romantic (it was originally going to be romantic, but after the age release...yeah)**

 **Anyway, enjoy this tidbit as we wait anxiously for Season Two.**

* * *

The void is full of screaming.

It's forever and unending, screaming as a million people and as one person. Women and men and children and everything else, human and animal and alien, people I know and people I've never met, all wailing relentlessly in pain, loss, fear, terror, and I'm trapped in the middle.

 _Please, stop!_ I beg them, cry into the blackness, but it's unrelenting and forever. My lungs are filled with it, and I know I'm drowning in it, drowning in the sounds of raw pain. Images flash at random through my eyes, without meaning or thought or logic. A black lion, a gold pin, a toy truck, a purple flower, a broken glass, a someone's bespectacled face. A book, a car, a smile, a pencil, a tree, a knife, an apple. With every image a haze falls over them, until I'm looking at nothing, until I am nothing.

But at least the screaming's stopped.

 _Shiro?_

Someone's calling my name. I hear it as if I'm underwater, and all I want to do is sleep. Every bone feels as if it's been replaced with lead, and my muscles are the consistency of Coran's food goo.

 _Shiro?_

That voice again, muffled and indistinct. Familiar but unfamiliar, like an old toy found in an unexpected place. My mind is fuzzy, and I can't get a straight thought through my head.

"Shiro?"

My muscles suddenly spring back into shape, my bones are easy to move with, and my mind is clear. I blink, and the first thing I think is, _why am I on the floor?_

The other Paladins are standing above me, Coran and Allura included. All have similar expressions of concern, shock, and fear. Pidge has a film of tears beneath her glasses, and Hunk looks like he's about to cry.

"What...happened?" I sit up, and my shoulders groan in protest. I wince slightly, and the entire team inhales sharply as one. Keith and Lance each take an arm and pull me up on my feet.

"You blacked out. Right as we were going over the mission plan." Allura said worriedly, watching me like I was going to faint any minute now. "I was talking about how to transport the prisoners, and you kind of just...collapsed."

 _Oh._ So that's what happened. The beginnings of a blush creep into my cheeks, and I look away in shame. How am I supposed to be a leader, if I pass out in the middle of a war? I can't bring myself to meet the eyes of any of them.

"Shiro, if you don't want to, we can put it off. We can wait until another time." Came Keith's voice, and I see agreement in everybody's movement and shifting.

"No. I'm fine, and I'll be fine. We can do this." My voice comes out harsh and stern, so different and unfamiliar that I have to take a moment to recognize it. But it works, and no one seems to want to argue with it. Except for one, particular, small Paladin.

"It's _not_ fine. If we're going to go on a mission, we have to be ready. And we can't do that if you're going to go to sleep."

Pidge's voice cuts in, sharper then her bayard. The tears I had seen were spilling out now, and she looks angry. An image of my college girlfriend when she was watching The Lion King pops into my head, and I have to bite down on my tongue and taste blood, which brings me back to the matter at hand.

"Pidge, please. I'll be okay, I promise." I assured her, even managing a somewhat convincing grin. "It won't happen again, alright?"

"How can we know that? I don't want to go into a critical battle with a leader prone to comas." She spat out, bitterness welling out with the tears. "This is what I've been waiting for for a year, I'm going to save my family. I can't do that if _you_ decide to take a _nap_ halfway!"

"Pidge! You do NOT speak that way to your leader!" Allura butted in sharply, but Pidge had done damage. The room started spinning again, and I had to focus all my willpower not to fall again. She was right; this mission was the biggest one to her, and I was posing a problem.

"Pidge, I won't faint like that again. You have my word." I feel the words come out of my mouth, but it's not my voice. Everything is so far away again, and it takes more effort then it should to bring me back. I look back at Pidge's face, tears on her cheeks, and I feel so horrible.

I was an obstacle between her and her family, and that was the hard truth. I barely heard Allura give the order to head for our Lions, or feel my legs taking me to my tube. Because all I can think of, was how to apologize.

* * *

I would never get used to battle.

I knew the controls of Black like the back of my hand, knew the way the other Paladins fought like the way I knew the palm of my hand. I could, by now, maneuver the Lion nearly as well as Keith, and knew all the tips on how to fly and land and roll. I knew most of the weapons available to me, and how best to use them. I knew the blind spots of Galra Drones, weak points of battleships.

What I still couldn't get used to was the chaotic _fury_ of it all. Like a drunken dance, you didn't know where to be and what to do, so you went with your gut. I dodged, shot, clawed, dodged again, bit, smashed, and still the only orientation I had was Black and the knowledge of how every movement was life or death.

"How you holding up, Shiro?" Lance's voice crackled into my helmet, just as I saw Blue tumble past, freezing a couple dozen drones in ice. Keith and Red followed suit, blasting all the drones following Lance with molten flames.

"I'm fine. Don't fool around, we're only supposed to distract for a second as Hunk and Pidge take down the defenses." I say back, casting an anxious glance at where Green and Yellow attacked the holographic shield surrounding the prison complex. Dark purple and shaped like a top, inside I knew there was a gladiator ring, where I had fought for my life and other's. I felt the familiar pull of memories dragging my mind away.

An explosion right in front of Black brought me back. Lance had just blasted a drone in my face.

"Wake up! We have to stay on target!" Hissed Keith, high-strung and uneasy. I cursed myself for being spacing out like this.

"Right, I know." I muttered back, embarrassed and angry at myself. I had never had anything like this happen to me; what was going on? I shook my head in annoyance and aimed a clumsy slash at a passing drone. The claw barely grazed the wing, just managing to send it off-course enough for it to crash into another one.

A deep sigh escaped my chest, and I felt useless. I watched Keith and Lance finish off the rest of the patrol drones as Hunk and Pidge finally took down the force field.

"We're in. Their transmitters will be jammed for about three minutes, let's go." Pidge spoke into the comm, and we dived in toward the ship that held her entire motivation.

* * *

Me and Pidge ran through the dimly lit metal hallways, ducking down every now and then as guards sped by. We rushed past thousands of metal doors each one no doubt holding at least one life form. Misery was radiating from behind those locked doors, and every one I passed made my heart ache. I knew only too well the pain they were in.

"Let's go." Muttered Pidge as I slowed down in front of a cell filled with a soft sobbing. "We'll save them when we find the control room." I nodded and kept running, blocking out the quiet crying that filled the silent corridor.

We finally got to the front of the control room, managing to dodge most of the guards and security drones (Pidge was tempted to rewire another Rover). Inside, a distinct hum of low conversation told us what we wanted.

"Sector five is clear."

"Send prisoner Cygnus 119-34 to Arena Sigma."

"Cleanup drones to Arena Iota."

"Transfer prisoner Cetus 285-81 from Hospital Ward."

 _Hospital Ward!_ I mouthed it to Pidge, and she nods excitedly. That means Matt would've been alive after I saved him from the Arena. All that was left to do, was to find where he and Mr. Holt were, and get them out. But to do that, we'd have to get to the main interface...

 _Tap. Tap. Tap._ Pidge was knocking on the door with her fist, as casually as if she was visiting a friend. I grab her wrist frantically.

"What do you think you're doing?!" I hiss, as she pushes me off. I stumble back just as the door is opened by a Galra droid.

"Who is-hey, aren't you-?"

Its words are cut off by Pidge cutting off its head at the neck. It staggers around blindly for a moment, like a headless chicken, before falling backwards with a resounding _clunk_.

"Hey!" The other droid turns around, finger moving to contact assistance. But Pidge is already in action, and a glowing green blade buries itself in the metal chest like a knife in butter. She retracts the blade, and the droid falls forward, as I stand there, mouth open, thinking _Reminder: DON'T MAKE HER MAD_

"Come on." She heads for the control panel and starts typing, fingers flying in a blur. I start moving the bodies to the side, out of sight, and stand near the closed door, listening for any approaching footsteps. I counted the minutes in my head, the time until the next passing patrol of guards, the time until they figured out the distraction that was Lance, Hunk, and Keith attacking the complex was a distraction, the time until they realized that we were in here...

"Shiro, I need your hand." Pidge calls me away from the door, hand motioning impatiently for me to move. I step away reluctantly, and offer my hand out for Pidge's use. She places it palm first onto what appears to be a purple handprint, and turns her attention back to the keyboard.

While she clicked away, I heard footsteps pounding past, and I knew something was wrong. Something was very wrong. Had it been the next patrol? It had come so fast...

"Shiro. Keep your hand on." A sharp statement from Pidge made me realize my hand was drifting off and clenching into a fist. I force it back on, still watching the door uneasily while scanning the room. There was a vent in the ceiling, so if need be Pidge had an escape, but my only exit was the door. I could probably take down a good few and run, but I'd have to take them all down if they all carried blasters. And then there'd be the prisoners, to worry about.

"Pidge, are you done yet? Come on!" I hissed, fear getting the better of me. Why didn't she release the prisoners yet? She was supposed to unlock the doors and send the warning via the Galran security drones, and activate the stadium evacuation alarm. So far none of that had happened, and my heart nearly stopped as another set of feet stomped by. "Pidge?"

Tears are leaking silently down her face, and she's staring wide eyed at what an image that looks just like her. I look closer, and my heart almost stops.

 _Matt?_

Matt's face is staring out, emptiness in his eyes. Beneath I see words, translated by Pidge's programming.

 _Prisoner Kuiper 34-7. Found in Sector X-9-Y. Primitive Scientist. Home planet: Earth (not conquered). Special features..._

"It's just a description, it's not that bad." I mumble, meant to encourage Pidge as well as me. Just some information on him as a species. I turn back to Pidge, before something else catches my eye.

 _Fought Prisoner Canis 937-24 on 8. Failed. Is deceased._

"He's gone." A shaky whisper stabs through my shocked haze like a needle. "I'm too late."


	4. Chapter 4

**I...I have no excuse.**

* * *

I remember how, during my imprisonment, I had a prison-mate, sharing the same cell with me. From what I can tell, they were one of the few who had survived the trials of the arena, and had the scars to show it. A buff, purple four-armed alien sporting shining, gem-like scales on the backs of their hands, they appeared terrifying, but were really quite nice. And while they could snap a beings neck in a millisecond and take down a giant space demon-wolf, they were remarkably wise and gentle.

I think that's why that they, of all people, ingrained themselves in my memory the most after they disappeared like so many others, without warning or explanation.

The biggest memory of them was the feeling I experienced after they left. Like a sucker punch, I felt their absence like a phantom limb. I think that after I was separated from the Holt's, I couldn't imagine ever feeling any bond with any being again. And yet, suddenly a piece of my life, however small, was ripped away and a painful, gaping wound was left behind, my personal black hole that burned with the intensity of being buried in ice and consumed like a forever-empty stomach.

Now I stood there, frozen in the Galran control room, all the air sucked from my lungs as I struggled to gain breath. My brain was short-circuiting, darkness creeping at the edges of my vision as I struggled to read the blue lettering from Pidge's translation, bold against the dim purple light of the Galran holo-screen.

Somewhere, someone was whimpering, a soft familiar whine edged with pain and shaken by tears. I blink, and the room snaps into focus again. Along with it, I notice the stiff metal banging at the door behind us, growing steadily louder and faster. The low drone of a Galran droid can be heard issuing orders behind the thick metal.

Just like with that prison mate from so long ago, there's no time to mourn or think. I grab Pidge and drag her from the console.

"S-Shiro! Stop, let me go-" she yelps, voice cracked with tears. She struggles from my grip, pushing away from me as I struggle to carry her.

"Pidge, we have to go, they're coming-"

"I have to recheck the search, I have to re calibrate-"

"Pidge, they're literally at the door, we don't have time, we have to _go-"_

"I DON'T CARE" She screams, and I hear the banging on the door subside for a brief, shocked moment. My ears ring and my grip slackens as she wriggles a little more away from me. " I DON'T CARE, MATT'S NOT DEAD AND THE COMPUTER IS LYING TO ME, LET ME GO I HAVE TO FIND THE TRUTH-"

"Pidge, please-"

"I HAVE TO KNOW, HE'S NOT DEAD-"

"PIDGE" Now I'm yelling, voice unrecognizable with barely-restrained anger, sadness, hysteria. I set her down on the ground and kneel in front of her, hands on her shoulders. "Listen to me Pidge, after this you can hate me as much as you want, and I'll accept it. But dead or alive, Matt doesn't want you to die for him. Especially not for a slim hope that maybe, just maybe, your computer skills have failed you and that you misread it. Or the system glitched. Or that the record is wrong. Please," Tears begin to fall, unwarranted and uncontrollable, from my eyes, spattering the floor between us. "Please Pidge, I don't want to believe it either. But we have. To. Go."

At first, she doesn't reply, simply stares at me with eye wide and bright with tears, and I watch as they slowly begin to fall, one by one, as the horrible truth hits her, dawns on her, and now her shoulders shake and breath trembles and low whimpers escape her small frame.

After only a moment, though, she stands up and turns away from me, staring at the door. She directs her bayard at a small air vent above the door, and the grate drops with a harsh clang to the floor.

"I'm going to go take out the droids" She says, and her voice is hopeless, monotone. A shell of what it was. "I'll open the door when it's clear."

"Pidge, you don't-" But she's gone before I can finish.

* * *

The next few minutes pass in awkward silence as I listen to the sounds of fighting by the door. I tried to open it, only to witness what could only be described as a scrap metal massacre before a thrown piece of droid shut it again. But when it does open, I'm greeted with a Pidge that won't look at me, won't acknowledge me, and speaks with a voice devoid of emotion and hope.

And...it hurts, when I hear her tell me to come out. It hurts more then the blade that gave me my scar. It hurts more then every broken bone and bruise gained on the arena. It hurts almost as much as when I watched Dr. Holt be taken from us, or when I watched Matt leave for the last time.

But in light of the moment, there's nothing I can do.

* * *

We run through the winding, identical metal halls, her always keeping several feet in front of me. Several times, we nearly run head first into a stampeding patrol of droids, and I have to reach forward and pull her behind a wall when it happens.

Every time, after the danger has passed, she pulls away and keeps on running, never looking me in the face or acknowledging me, even as I see the tears that stain the inside of her visor.

It takes several rotations of running in front of the same desecrated control room and pile of sentry droids before I'm forced to conclude that we are hopelessly, terribly lost.

"Shiro," Keith radios in through gritted teeth, sounds of blasterfire heavy in the background. "Where are you!?"

"We're still by the control center, we're making our way out." I wince as I hear another particularly heavy explosion, along with a stream of muted swears on Keith's end.

"Well hurry up! We can't hold out much longer!" _click_.

I look around, frustrated beyond belief. This entire situation was more infuriating then dealing with a hyper-worried, eight-armed sack of panic, even without the emotional baggage that accompanied this particular scenario.

And then I notice, a soft tap-tap-tapping down the hall to the right. I look over and notice what appears to be an emaciated purple hand, stretched through the bars of the door, tapping away. The lights catch on a cracked shiny scale on the back of it.

" _Go."_ rasps a voice behind the door, the hand pointing to the left. That's when I notice the dozens of other hands, appendages, doing similar things. Guiding us. Directing us to the exit, each one accompanied by a quiet voice behind the doors. " _Go, Paladins. Go!_ "

I reach out and grab Pidge, carrying her despite mumbled protests as I sprint down the hall. At the end of it, I turn back and call out. "Thank you."

There's no time to watch the response before I'm running again, and I don't stop or slow until we are by the Lions again.

* * *

It wasn't until we actually got to our Lions that I let myself look at Pidge again.

Except she wasn't Pidge. She was someone else, someone far away and separated from me by an invisible wall she made. Pidge, so skilled in being invisible-who could escape the watchful eye of Sendak while also infiltrating his formulated plan, who could rig an cloaking device into her Lion, who on multiple occasions succeeded in scaring all of us (even high-strung, careful Keith), had built a barrier so impenetrable that is seemed that I was pushed miles away, even though she was so close.

There weren't any tears left on her face, or any evidence that there had been tears aside from thin tracks of white staining her cheeks. Her entire face was a mask, impassive and unmoving, betraying no emotion except for the muscle that jumped occasionally in her jaw.

"Pidge," I began.

"Let's go." The reply was as autonomous and robotic as the computers she worked with. She walked to her Lion, betraying nothing if not for the clenched fists at her side. There was nothing to do but to follow her.

* * *

It was all my fault, for not being smarter about the whole situation. For being too concerned and worried with myself over paying attention to our surroundings when hell broke loose

We had parked our Lions on an obscure location on the Galran base, where cannons couldn't reach and where fighter ships couldn't fire on without damaging the cruiser itself. It meant that we had to make our way into the ship by moving among the mile-wide pipes that carried fuel, and it's where we had to make our way back to to get to our Lions.

I was so close But a fighter ship, one wing broken and sparking, trailing smoke, crashed through the metal wall like it was paper and directly into one of the pipes.

Suddenly, there was nothing but fire for all I could see.

The Black Lion pushed its head through just in time, but Pidge, who had been farther from her Lion, didn't get the same response. I screamed for her, even trying to reach my arms into the flames to grab at something, anything, but the heat was so strong it seemed to sear my skin _through_ the heat-resistance armour plating. There was nothing by the loud, rhythmic thumping of explosions happening all around me, the roaring walls heat and fire that pulsed everywhere, and the heavy shuddering waves of shock and force that echoed throughout the entire room. Even though I'm wearing my helmet, something chokes me that isn't smoke, stabbing pains through my throat and into my chest. Stones line the pit of my stomach. Static and panicked voices flood the comm in my ear, distorted and beyond understanding among the explosions.

The same uselessness I felt when Dr. Holt was taken hits me harder then any blow I've ever taken. The same uselessness I felt when I watched Matt walk away for the last time, when I was Sendak's captive in the Castle, listening to Pidge maneuver and hack her way through to save us. It crawls up my throat as a wail of desperation as I pound the side of the Black Lion's jaw.

Until finally, _finally_ , it all gives away into an endless, gaping darkness.

I've never felt so bitterly relieved.

* * *

 **Ahahaha...whoops.**

 **I'm really sorry for how long it's taken for me to get this chapter out, but in all honestly I've been losing traction and interest in this particular fic. Don't worry, I don't think I'll ever leave it hanging. But don't expect any updates for this for a while**

 **S-s-s-s-season five came out! I'm crying about it but only a little bit, gonna maybe have Lotor guest star but idk yet**

 **Thank you for reading and please leave a review on what you thought!**


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